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No, she doesn’t hate her former costar. In fact, she is perfectly fine – write that, actually, use those words, please – she is perfectly fine. Thriving, even! Thank you for asking.
Yes, it is true that her former costar departed the show over contract issues at a climactic moment in their shared storyline. It is also true that they spent five years together, delivering lines someone else had written for them. That she adjusted to this routine, even came to enjoy it. That she could spend a full minute describing the golden, honeyed hue of his eyes – no, she will not now, but thank you for asking.
Her former costar looked nice in a crisp white lab coat; they both do – you’ve seen the show, haven’t you? But this was her first starring role, after all, there was lots to enjoy, her happiness didn’t hinge on the fact of his presence. What an insinuation to make! Yes, she’s seen the tweets. And anyway there had been rumbles, rumours; the actress had known for some time that her costar’s future absence was a possibility.
No, he did not said goodbye. Yes, you should print that. It is the actress’ opinion that the viewers have a right to know.
Of course, in the end she mostly blames the writers. They knew her former costar’s exit was a possibility yet failed to equip her character to deal with the emotional fallout of the season’s climax on her own. She hated the PTSD subplot they gave her, thank you for asking – yes, they already know how she feels, go right ahead.
Specifically the actress felt there was not enough variety in the representation of trauma onscreen. What about the people who are PERFECTLY FINE, she asked the writers one afternoon. What about the people who carry on normally with their lives in the wake of a traumatic event? What about the people who don’t feel abandoned? What about them?
Yes, she has seen the media coverage. No, she did not yell at the writers on the day in question. She has never raised her voice on set, not once! Thank you for asking.
The actress does not want to be bogged down with grief; she just wants to save lives on television. And anyway, she has never personally cared that her former costar is gone. So her character shouldn’t either.
The writers kept assuring her it would be fine, that the storyline would develop her, give her mettle – as if she didn’t already have mettle in spades. Yet for the entirety of the following season, her character was mired in these childlike abandonment issues: crying stints at work, tearstains on her lab coat. Once, a guest star even died on her watch. The actress hated all of it. But the writers would not provide her with the words to let her former costar go.
The actress is giving this interview because she would like to move on. She has no interest in being eternally tied to someone with whom she once starred in a TV show. He was not her only costar, after all, and what he does with his career is his choice.
After the series concludes the actress would like to dip her toes into directing, or writing. She would like to be behind the scenes, control what is happening onscreen. She is sick of being subjected to the whims of others – wait, don’t print that; she knows what it sounds like.
No, she does not miss him. Yes, she is perfectly fine. Thank you for asking.
Abigail Oswald
Abigail Oswald is a writer whose work predominantly examines themes of celebrity, crime, and girlhood. Her writing has appeared or is forthcoming in journals such as Wigleaf, Matchbook, Fractured Lit, Hobart, Vol. 1 Brooklyn, DIAGRAM, and Split Lip, and her short fiction was selected for Best Microfiction 2021. She holds an MFA from Sarah Lawrence College and currently resides in Connecticut. Find her online at abigailwashere.com.
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